Dear Nakua,

I am a young man of 30 years old. I have fallen in love with this lady in my office. I have proposed love to her and even took her out on a date a couple of times with her consent.

The problem is that she does not give me the attention that I expect to get from her. She could see me around the office, say hello and just walk away. She would not make time for small talks.

I love her deeply and I let her know. Please do I have to do more to get her attention?

Besides, is “doing more” these days not too archaic; isn’t it a thing of the past because I hear ladies propose to men these days?

I am confused! Please help me.

A Young Man in Love,

Sierra Leone.


Dear Young-Man-In-Love,

Your predicament is well appreciated and understood. It is regrettable that you could not get your foot in the door. Thus, you could not successfully talk her into loving you back on the first move. That means you do not have a relationship with the lady in question.

But you should not worry.

Remember, the most important principle in any relationship is to get to know the other person. Have you taken your time to know her taste?

Be patient. Get real. Take your time to observe a few things about her. Pay attention to the little things. Action speaks louder than words. Watch her closely; the way she dresses, talks, facial expressions and even the way walks. Is she shy, quite naughty, subtly vulgar, bold, talkative?

The choice we make in deciding to become involved with another person reveals something important and intimate about us. We resist seeing ourselves as having fallen for someone who is cheap or tacky or casteless, because it reflects badly on who we are.

Furthermore, we are often likely to fall for someone who resembles us in some way. Should that person be deficient, then there is something deficient and ordinary about us.

The next time you have the chance to take her or another lady out on a date, or when you meet in the working environment, give her the chance to fantasize about you. Do not become too familiar and banal. Pay attention to and do the little things! Watch the clothes you wear, the things you say and the places you go – the movies, a concert, a play. The gifts you give, the text messages you send, unexpected meetings etcetera should be associated with pleasant memories.

Everything must remind her of you.

On the other hand, probably she is not attracted to you, at least not yet. Ladies always show how much they care especially when they are sincerely in love with a man.

Move on if that is the case. Look for another Suzie. Just withdraw the attention and shower it on another Suzie who is mad over you and who knows? The lady in your office would start giving you signals.

Let her be for now. Reflect on your life, love yourself first and make life beautiful for yourself. She may come around when you have moved on.

Good luck.


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