Dear Nakua,

My name is Emeka. I am in my early 30s, gainfully employed and I am HIV positive. How l got the infection is not known to me.

My family does not know my HIV status so they are pressuring me to get married.

I have a feeling for white women and l want to get married to one.

What do l do?

Should l let my family know my status?

Please help me.

Worried Emeka,

From Nigeria.


Dear Emeka,

Your predicament is well appreciated.  You are a lucky man. Do you know why? You are living in the 21st century. Fortunately, the 21st century is the era in which everything is possible because of the availability of information especially on the internet and over here at

Getting an HIV infection is no longer a death sentence or an end to life and romantic relationships. Medical advancement has improved the life expectancy rate of people living with the HIV virus.

You would be doing yourself a lot of good if you let the people around you know your HIV status. To a large extent the battle against stigmatization of people living with HIV has been won.

The good news is that people living with HIV live normal lives now. With the support of a counsellor, an HIV positive person can receive advice on prevention methods (condom use), treatment (antiretroviral drugs- ARVs) and other support options.

Are you on medication? If not, you are advised to see a professional medical doctor ASAP and start taking your ARVs.

HIV positive persons even get married and live as serodiscordant (HIV positive person in a long-term relationship with an HIV negative partner) couples.

It is possible you might face stigmatization from a few people, but honesty should be at the forefront of all relationships. Open up to your partner about your HIV status.

You should also have a lifestyle change. Consciously eat healthy and exercise regularly in order to keep your immune system strong to combat the virus all the time. Yes! this lifestyle would guarantee a long life for you to enjoy marriage with your white wife.

 Again, it is possible to find someone that will love you for who you are. You have not explained why you are attracted to white women but what is most important in every relationship is LOVE and UNDERSTANDING.

man holding condom

But hey, you know where to get white ladies huh? There are white people in almost every country in Africa and they are on social media too, so you may want to try your luck and get one who would sincerely love you.

All the best Emeka. Cheer up and enjoy life!!

You can also share your story with NAKUA via e-mail: [email protected] OR send a Direct Message (DM) to NAKUA on SOCIAL MEDIA.

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