RELATIONSHIP CORNER: DEAR NAKUA

Dear Nakua,

My relationship is deficient of reciprocity.

This is a matter I have lost my head over for the past few weeks. In fact it does not make sense to me at all.

I started dating this fine lady for about six months now. All this time, anytime she comes over to my house to pay me a visit, I make her stay very comfortable. On top of that, when she is leaving, I give her money for transport.

Quite recently, I also paid her a visit. Guess what, to my utter surprise, she failed to reciprocate the very good treatment I give her. The most annoying part of the whole matter is that she failed to foot my transportation bill.

Please Nakua, it this proper? Am I in a good romantic relationship?

Anonymous

from Cameroon.

NAKUA’S RESPONSE

Dear Anonymous from Cameroon,

Indeed, it can be hurtful when your partner does not reciprocate the acts of love you show her especially in a romantic relationship like yours.

But hey, there is no fast rule to that. In romantic relationships, you should not do things for your partner expecting them to treat you in the same measure.  It is good people reciprocate the love and care shown them but you should not be in high expectations otherwise you would be disappointed.

 Everyone has a way of dealing with their relationship issues. In your case however, it is important for you to discuss the matter with her and let her know exactly what you require from her. Tell her, you would like to be treated in the same way you treat her. You may not be in a bad relationship but most ladies understand that “it is a man’s duty to provide everything for a woman and the woman’s duty is to enjoy it”.

The least your girlfriend could do is to make you comfortable when you visit (good food and nice activities).

Again, there are some ladies who are not hospitable. They do not know how to make people comfortable in their homes. If your lady is like that, then you need to have a big heart. You may also want to teach her how to receive people, if she is willing to learn.

Anonymous from Cameroon, you really expected your girlfriend to give you money for transport back home? That is quite interesting but if you were broke, you could have simply asked her for some money. She is your girlfriend and would not refuse to assist with your transportation fare.

Once again, communication is very key in every relationship. Feeling loved and valued is very important in healthy relationships. If you discuss the issues with her and she does not agree, then perhaps, you might need to call it quits.

Let us know how she takes the conversation.

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