RELATIONSHIP CORNER: ARE MEN FALSELY ACCUSED OF RAPE?

Source: www.africanakua.com| Victoria Fakiya, Nigeria

Research shows that majority of sexual assaults, an estimated 63 percent, are never reported to the police (Rennison, 2002). Studies show also that using qualitative and quantitative analysis, 812 reports of sexual assault from 2000-2003 and found a 2.1 percent rate of false reports (Heenan & Murray 2006). This shows that men are falsely accused of sexual assault.

I believe you all know the story. They met on Instagram and Neymar paid her flight ticket and all of that to Paris where he was at that time. Somebody would say, well, why would she accuse him of rape then? What was she expecting if not sex? Well, Najila Tridade said she wanted sexual relations with him. They both agreed on sex but not sexual assault.

Neymar rape accuser, Najila.

Remember, any sexual activity done without the consent of the other person is sexual assault. Consent is not assumed because they agreed to have sex before or earlier. Consent is asked every time in relationships and marriage. Plus, sex is not rape! Sex is not aggressively or violently done and the fact that you are under the influence of drugs or alcohol doesn’t mean you are wrong for being aggressive or violent.

Aljazeera reported in Neymar’s rape case that the woman told police that Neymar arrived at the hotel that night “apparently drunk” and that they talked and “caressed”. “However, at some point, Neymar became aggressive, and through violence, practised sexual intercourse against the will of the victim,” the police report said. The text also said the woman returned home to Brazil two days later and without filing a complaint with French police because she was “emotionally shaken and afraid to register the facts in another country”. I would use this to discuss why women accuse men of rape.

I am not saying Najila falsely accused him of rape. No! This story is a case study and I just feel we should discuss why men are falsely accused. A false accusation of rape is reporting rape where no rape has occurred. One of the reasons women falsely accuse men is false memories. Traumatised victims tend to have memories of the rape incident and when they see men who look like the perpetrators, they falsely accuse them.

Kanin (1994) categorised the reasons why women falsely accuse men of rape. He categorised them into revenge, producing an alibi or to get sympathy/attention. Also, they falsely accuse men for material gain or regret. That is, being humiliated and shamed after consensual sex by the same party.

Women who suffer from sexual violence and its effects use false accusation as a way of revenging. They do that because they are hurt and have not healed. It is sad though but since men see it as a means of being in control and power, the women also see it as a means of paying back. Hence, men should stop the cycle! They should stop rape and sexual assault. I mean people are out there who want sex consensually as much as you want it. Rape shouldn’t be a means of punishing a girl or woman for something they did to you or showing aggression or dominance!! If this is controlled or eradicated, women wouldn’t accuse men falsely for what does not exist.

In Neymar’s Instagram video, CNN reported that an emotional Neymar contended that his encounter with the accuser was “a relationship between a man and woman, within four walls, something that happens with every couple,” but also that he had been set up. “It was a trap, and I ended up falling for it.”

I would say Neymar did not disagree that he was drunk and had sex with her aggressively. He only was trying to prove that they agreed on sex and that was what she wanted and why she came over. Yes! She wanted sex not aggression or violence! I could imagine how Neymar must have felt there. He was like, ‘Really? We both consented to this, hence, you came over. I paid for this and that and now, I can’t have sex however I want?’. Ridiculous! If aggression or violence is part of sex, then rape would not be rape but sex! I mean it is logical! However, when aggression and violence are involved which is as a result of lack of consent or showing dominance even in bed due to another motive of the perpetrator, then, that is not sex! It is not sex but attempted rape or rape!

Sex should be enjoyed by both parties. It should not cause the other person pain and pains. Both parties should derive pleasure from the act. When it is only you, it is sexual assault! What now is your say? She falsely accused him of rape? You are the judge! You should judge this.

Men are falsely accused of rape, no doubt! However, both sexes have their parts to play. The males should stop sexual assault while the women should stop accusing them falsely. Until rape decreases or becomes dinosaurs, false accusation of men raping women wouldn’t stop because it takes rape to happen before traumatised individuals accuse the wrong persons of rape or hurt persons who choose not to heal use it as vengeance.

Dear women and girls, it is high time you also stopped reporting men falsely of rape as a means of punishment, monetary benefits and the likes. Both sexes really should play their parts. Until then, rape and false accusations of men would be prevalent. The saddest thing is, most victims of rape and its accusations are innocent! Won’t you stop the cycle today? How long would innocent people hurt and suffer so much from what they know nothing about? Let us stop this together. Also, know that it begins with you.

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