I am a 32-year-old woman from Ghana. I want advice on how to settle on a good man for a life partner or husband. The categories of men we (ladies) meet nowadays have different makings that make decision on who to settle with quite difficult. I am confused because choosing “Mr. Right” has become an arduous task.
You find a handsome man, the brain is empty; You find brilliant one, he looks too serious. You find a rich one, he is disrespectful; You find a hardworking one, he never has time for you. You find a serious one, his EX keeps calling; You find a humble one, he is broke. You find a responsible one, he is not romantic; You find an educated one, he feels he is always right. You find an illiterate one, he always gets angry whenever you correct him; You find a smart one, he lies every time.
What do you advise, Dear Nakua?
Dear Marcelle from Ghana,
The word “good” is relative so your definition of it is what will point you in the right direction. Indeed, you seem quite confused, but you need to understand that there is no perfect man out there.
However, if a man’s positive qualities (strengths) outweigh the negative ones (weaknesses) such that they do not seriously threaten the joy of marriage and the progress of the wife, then you may want to consider settling with him.
For example, if he is humble but poor, that weakness which is poverty could be remedied with hard work and focus.
If he is too serious, you could be the playful one or the romantic one in the relationship. Then with subtle hints now and then, he would learn to loosen up.
Always remember that there is nothing like “an already made” couple. Every marriage/relationship is work in progress. As is required of everything of importance, it is up to you to determine if he is worth the sacrifice and investments you would put in the relationship or not.
Just as every woman who wants a child knows that the baby is worth the pain of labour, so it is with the efforts and the sacrifices people make in relationships.
Focus on what is important, and teamwork with your man to make your romantic life a successful one.
We would be glad to hear your testimony on how you successfully settled on your “Mr. Right” in your next letter to us.
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